Artisanal!

If you can somehow use the terms 'gluten free wood' and 'organically grown' you'll get bonus points in my book.

Just say Ikea and see if there response changes at all.

Hahahaha... nice one Adam!

I can relate, I've gotten similar responses. With that come back you'll probably have them asking to give you the builders name so they can have something tha nice made.

Please post a picture. Love to see the "sofas" in Walnut, may give me some ideas. I' ve used the traditional White Oak and Maple for Arts and Crafts furniture but not as yet Walnut.

Photos? Did I miss the photos?

I think you should include a picture of them here!

They are locally sourced from an artisanal maker.....

Dude, you also need "handmade"!

Funny. When I tell visitors I made the Arts and Crafts coffee tables, waste basket, coat tree, etc. in my living room they are impressed.

You need to find new friends.

Joel, I'm pretty sure when you use your new phraseology, they will just move away slowly to talk to your wife.

Here's the (not very good picture) picture. it's 8 feet long. and one of two walnut settles I built - the order being 6'

Its not quite 'artisanal' but still sounds fancy enough

"They are sourced from a local artisan who hand made them from 100% US made natural materials following a traditional form first expressed in the late 19th century by Gustav Stickley and other contemporary designers."

Nice sofa. That is on my 5 year build plan. Did you use a plan, pictures, or what? I don't need a 3d model, but I would like some nice pics to use as a starting point. thanks for posting.

Joel,

I lost a lot of credibility when I told my friends that Ikea products are made from termite poop.

And no amount of fine handmade furniture is going to change that.

I do agree with the above comment about "gluten free" and "organically grown wood" though.

Bill

"It's like being in Europe a little bit, but here."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiIvnFz--k8

I like your inclusion of "traditional vocabulary of form". I'd suggest throwing in either "bespoke" or "unknown craftsman" somewhere those are always sure to impress. Or, take another tack and simply say that "the piece came from the collective unconscious, yet provides a visual metaphor for Claude Levi-Strauss' advocacy for structuralism in anthropology." (Google and Wikepedia are great sources for stuff to throw into artist statements.) Nice settle by the way.

funniest thing I have all day. Its sad the you have to basically use hipster dialect to get people interested in a craft that is far older than most any other trade.

Possibly "an Algorean segue on ultra Nakashimaism"

I suggest you work into your statement something about 'pallet wood' or 'waste stream' or 'repurposed.'

"Handmade by the indigenous peoples of... wherever."

Throw "master craftsman" in there as well. That always gets a nod of approval...lol